From Self-Neglect to Self-Respect
The Relationship You Have With Yourself
What is the relationship you have with yourself?
Do you take yourself seriously?
Do you keep the promises you make — both big and small?
This is something I have personally struggled with. But this year, I decided things would be different. I decided I would be intentional about keeping my word to myself.
Recovering From Self-Neglect
As a veteran in the game of self-neglect — and someone recovering from mental health struggles — I know this journey will not be easy.
To make it attainable, I chose to start small. I looked at the areas where I tend to abandon myself for the sake of ease and comfort — the two forces that have brought me to crossroads moments in my life: change, or sink.
I can no longer turn a blind eye to my own inaction. I can’t keep letting myself off the hook simply because something feels difficult or uncomfortable.
But succeeding at overcoming myself requires something deeper:
I need to know myself.
I need to recognize the excuses that pull me off the path.
I need to understand the emotions that interfere with my goals.
The Problem With Ignoring “Small” Habits
Right now, I’m working toward some major life changes — big moves that could alter the trajectory of my future.
Here’s the truth: I’ve had poor habits in the small, everyday areas of my life.
For a long time, I told myself those habits were too insignificant to matter. I believed they wouldn’t impact where I was going. But whenever I failed to follow through on these small commitments, I felt misaligned with the person I say I want to become.
When I envision that future version of myself — the woman who does big, bold, meaningful things — I have to ask:
How can she carry lavish goals but be defeated by basic disciplines?
Upon deeper reflection, I realized something important:
Small habits are not without consequences.
And if they carry consequences I don’t want, then they are important enough to address.
There’s a saying: how you do small things is how you do big things.
It’s unrealistic to expect myself to conquer greater challenges while struggling with foundational ones.
My First Real Resolution
This year, for the first time, I made a true resolution:
To show up for myself.
I recognized that my track record in this area wasn’t great. I finally decided that I wanted to matter more to myself. I wanted to take care of the one person who is guaranteed to be with me until the end of time — me.
The first order of business?
Keep the promises I make to myself.
I started practicing this principle in small, consistent ways — and I began to see a shift in my self-belief.
A Breakthrough: Doing What I Usually Quit
Currently, I’ve been working toward obtaining a license in a field I want to pursue.
In the past, I would have quit at the first sign of difficulty. But this time, I had support, accountability, and I committed to taking small, achievable steps.
I made it through all the examinations. I am now in the process of applying for my license.
For me, this is monumental.
I rarely see things through. For most of this journey, I didn’t believe in myself. The self-doubt was loud. But I kept showing up in small ways — and those small efforts had a profound internal impact.
Getting this far has changed me.
Believing the Science — Before Believing Myself
There’s extensive research on neuroplasticity — the brain’s ability to change and rewire itself.
For a long time, I held onto the science as proof that change was possible. I didn’t believe in myself — but I believed in the science.
Now, I’ve lived it.
The science was true.
And I am capable of growth.
Where there was once doubt, there is now faith.
Consistency Over Intensity
One of the main reasons I’ve come this far is because I took very small steps.
Honestly, I didn’t think those steps were enough. I felt like I wasn’t doing “big” things. I thought I wasn’t doing enough.
I’m someone who tends to approach change with intensity. But I’ve learned something invaluable:
Consistency beats intensity every time.
And I’ve proven that to myself.
The Power of Small Commitments
Because I’ve seen what small efforts can do internally, I’m now committed to strengthening my foundational habits — the ones I once dismissed as unimportant.
I’m excited to see who I become when discipline becomes second nature.
A Message to Anyone Who Doubts Themselves
If you’re trying to build a new relationship with yourself — especially one where you keep your own promises — I want you to know:
It is possible.
You may not believe at first.
Take the tiny steps anyway.
Eventually, something shifts. You begin to feel anchored. Firm. Steady.
Where you once would have toppled over, you now stand grounded.
And that changes everything.